I just got back from a weekend in Columbia. While it did my heart, soul and body no end of good to be there, it is enormously difficult to be back here in Baltimore. Or rather, back here in Baltimore working in the place I work.

I seem, in my short life, to have a knack for not only taking the road less traveled, but also the road most difficult.

As I sit here with a cup of tea, in the early morning light, preparing to leave in a little less than half an hour – a lesson plan still to be printed, a bag to be packed, hair to be put up and shoes put on – I feel a resistance in my very muscles. While it is typical that I carry all my stress in my shoulders, I’ve never felt such a visceral reaction in my whole body to my present situation. My stomach knots uncomfortably, my entire upper body tenses its muscles.

In the time I’ve been here, I’ve had people encourage me to quit, and people encourage me to stay. And while I won’t say which route I prefer, I know that for better or for worse there are about 45 fourth graders who may not think me the best teacher, but expect to see me at the front of their classroom each day.

Thoughts to be continued…for now I’ve got to get to school, God go with me now as always.

Third Post from the Coast

Things I used to say on a daily basis:
Would you like to grab some coffee?
I'm reporting/working on this story...
When is my deadline?
This is your deadline...
Yes I have read that interesting article/essay/book and would like to discuss it with you over a cup of coffee.
Sure, I can take that story.
Hi, my name is ... and I'm a reporter with ...

Things I say now on a daily basis:
Your do-now is on the board.
I've got my timer running - it's up to you to earn your Charlie time.
Make a good choice*
Your name is now on my board.
Wow,I love how (student name) is doing their work - they need a sticker - who else is going to get a sticker.
Don't poke me - do I poke you?
Stop touching each other - everyone's hands are at their side.
You can tell me how you're supposed to behave, now you need to show me.

* I say "make a good choice" about 20,000 times a day. Talk about being a broken record.

Second Post from the Coast
I don’t feel as thought I have anything to write, or to say. As often as I have tried to come up with words to speak, I find that they lack. Miss the mark. Fail the reality.
I have words, but they do not come together in communication.

Complacency Catch-22 Misplaced Perseverence Lost Seen Seen Watched
Witnessed
Illiteracy Ill will Meanness. Plain meanness. Prayer
Prayer Love Predicate Predicated
Decision Choice Communication Fist
Angry fist Child’s angry fist Child’s anger Confusion Disillusion Sorrow Compassion Shoes.
Sympathetic Shoes
Shoes.
Up down Wrong direction
Cleaning Ignorance If I can keep my head, Mr. Kipling.
Stop. Just Stop. Make a choice. A good choice. Before I make it for you.
I’ll wait.
I’m waiting.

I am waiting for you to close your book, clear off your desk – not even a binder, your pencils are down. I’m waiting for you to close your book, put the drawing away, stop writing that note before it becomes mine. I am waiting for your attention on the count of three.

Use your brains, before your fists. I know you’re not listening because your fists are still balled up, you are still frowning, your actions speak so much louder than your words.
Make a choice, it’s up to you. We can all make good choices.

I like that choice. I like that choice, too.

I’ll wait. I’m waiting.

I am waiting for the culture at large to stop making the choices for my students before my students can make them for themselves.

I am waiting. I will wait.