Quoting:

"And the world's got me dizzy again. You'd think after 22 years I'd be used to the spin. And it only feels worse when I stay in one place, so I'm always pacing around or walking away." Landlocked Blues, Bright Eyes

"Every writer obsessed with depressing realities knows we are totally draining type to have around. Most of us are rational people - we know ten dollars, or even 3,500 words, is not going to change anybody's life. But until we can supply some meaning to what we are witnessing, we are doomed to reel from the resonances." Red, White and Oh So Blue, Mary Kay Blakely

Strange happenings:

Had my ipod on shuffle today. As it selected melodies from 1,002 options it made a very interesting decision: after playing Bright Eyes', Landlocked Blues it chose to play Emmylou Harris' Boulder to Birmingham. This is only interesting because Harris makes a guest apperance with Connor Oberst on Landlocked Blues - how did the ipod know?

And now a actual discussion that is occurring in the office of whether the magazine will run a controversial cover featuring the confederate flag. Oh yes, I'm serious.

Backstory: The cover feature next week is one that is supposed to be examining the existence of confederate Missouri, looking at the lives and reasons for modern day citizens who support the confederacy, or consider themselves confederates. This could have been a really beautiful narrative piece examing the reasons people need to hang on to causes and purposes, or looking at how people twist history and flags to suit their own ends. As it is, it looks as though it will simply be a piece offering the information that some people in Missouri identify as confederate soldiers.

The debate: This feature will be going on the cover, the most obvious visual image is the confederate flag, and yes people are seriously considering running it big on the cover.

Point: Those in the pro-camp feel we shouldn't shy away from controversy before we've given it a try.
Counterpoint: Those in the opposing camp feel that the story - the narrative, point and writing should be strong enough to justify selling controversy on the cover. At this point the story looks as though it will be an embarrassingly weak effort, barely addressing the amount of conflict surrounding new and old supporters of the confederacy.

My feelings: I hope that I don't have to waste words here reassuring people that I have no problem confronting controversial subjects. However, I see absolutely know point in running the stars and bars on the cover. Though I haven't read the story yet, my understanding is that it is not strong or compelling narrative. Secondly, I don't see a point to riling people up by putting such a controversial image on the cover without a strong justification. Thirdly, I really have a serious problem placing a symbol that is so associated with racism on the cover of a community magazine, particularly one that sells itself as more pithy than serious, more fun and offbeat than concerned with social issues. Whether the flag originally represented racism is moot, as the symbol is now associated with racists groups and sentiments. Fourth, controversy for controversy's sake is always a distasteful and uncouth choice in journalism.

Stay tuned for Monday when we find out what the ones in charge have decided.

What I want (is it really so much to ask?)
1) The student editor who is doing the second read on my feature to finish reading the galleys instead of leaving them for long intervals to handle issues in her department. She could tell her other editor, "If you'll just let me finish this galley, I'll be glad to give you my opinion."
2) A pony
3) For editors to understand the difference between proofreading and trying to over edit the text.
4) For TA's to do it right the first time rather than finding two more things they don't like and wish to change on each new clean draft.
5) Mexican food.
6) For writers to make the changes I have asked them to make before turning in a second draft.
7) To be home at Bag End.
8) For the schedule that says editors are done at 7:30 p.m. on Tuesdays to be taken as a literal deman and not a figuarative suggestion.
9) Clean laundry
10) For people to put two ounces of effort and thought into what they're doing.

Surely I'm not the only one who hates staying here late. This staff needs a union and some brains.

True Story:

Dreading your work place will not make it go away, nor will it diminish the amount of stuff you have to do.

I'll bet you that I'm here until midnight tonight.

I know I haven't written in a bit ... and that's all right.

What I really wanted to say is that though I lose sight of it sometimes, I know that there is truly an astounding amount of goodness in my life.

Not due to any fault of mine. I'm just blessed to be surrounded by good people.

I look at the people in my life, the artists and dancers, the lovers and writers, those who know exactly what they want and those who are still looking.

I thought of my people today as I walked up the steps to a job that I don't fancy where I work with several people for whom I have little admiration or warmth.

I thought of us - the whole ragtag bunch - I do not know where we are headed, but I'm sure we are going with smiles on our faces.

So though I get caught up in work, frustrated by things I can't change and people who can't see past their opportunistic noses, I know that at the end of the day there is still an anchoring point for my life. That the things I hold true and dear, remain, even if I am not always the best keeper of them.

At the end of the day, I will try and remember to say thank you.