6.20.2004

More than a week ago I wrote that I was waiting to be sure of what I know. There’s been a lot of upheaval in the past several days. Little sleep and lots of bad coffee. And I am much closer to being “grown-up,” than I was before.

If I wait until I am sure of what I know then I will never write again. There must be some aspect of faith in one’s life. And sometimes that requires a step without knowing…

Knowing. Living. It all requires some amount of faith. A small amount of trust that the sun will also rise and you with it.

At six years old, a child may think that her heart is actually heart-shaped. And why not? The two people the child loves and trusts most in the world, the people she places her six year old faith in have named two semi-circles and a peak a heart.

It is sad to hear a six year old voice say, “I thought my heart was heart-shaped.” To know that her heart has become to her merely the lump of muscle that resides in her chest.

And for some children, this is the first small test of faith.

A child’s faith in a loved one’s words. What else could a heart be but that which we draw and color on scraps of paper? What does it mean if a heart is not actually two semi-circles and a peak? When one is six, the heart is for loving and believing and hoping. The heart, for a child, might be the principle organ of faith.

What is lost when a child’s heart becomes to them only a round, fist-sized organ?

It may take some years, but she may find the heart truly is something for wishes and dreams and faith. A force of strength that may guide according to the love it holds. What’s the old line…where your treasure is, there also your heart.

For some adults, this is both the test and the restoration of child-like faith. Belief which looks past the immediate and hopes for things unseen. A heart which trusts its treasure.

Of this I am sure. This I know.

11 comments:

CSP said...

Hebrews 11:1: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen." Or something like that.

Hope you feel better.

And if you ever tell anyone you made me quote scripture, I'll throttle you.

Anonymous said...

Yes, but does the child realize that the heart -- the ACTUAL heart -- is an incredibly complex organ responsible for keeping one alive from day to day? SO much more than two semi-circles and a peak!

Certainly this may be the first test of childish faith, but isn't it also a first step along the road to discovery? The road to knowledge? A crucial component of growing up and coming into one's own?

I know, I know. I've probably missed the point completely. I just like to play Devil's Advocate every now and again.

*Miss Jo :)

Anonymous said...

Sara...Man! You write so eloquently! You never cease to amaze me. I hope that your faith is growing in whatever you are experiencing. I am praying for you. Not just in this, but always. In fact, you have been in my prayers for what seems like forever, now that I really contemplate. I haven't seen you in a while, so I hope that our paths will cross at some point this summer. Until then...long live the anonymous post!

Sara said...

Caleb ~ you have a heart of gold and I appreciate the insight you share. And of course it tickles me pink that you quoted scripture.

Melissa ~ no, you're wonderful. Ditto to missing you.

Ann ~ Much love, to you always. I'm so glad you came back to Mizzou.

Miss Jo ~ you bring up a really interesting point that we need to talk about at some point. It depends on how you view your body - working for you, or against you? I'm glad you reminded me of it.

To Anonymous ~ Please, please reveal your identity. I'm assuming you must know me well enough to know that secrets drive me crazy. Besides, how can our paths cross if I don't know who you are. Come on. You know you want to tell me. I appreciate the prayers - how nice that even anonymous prayers get heard.

Jason Hunt said...

Hello, Sara! It is, I...Anonymous! Perhaps you would like a hint? Well, here is a BIG one! chapelchoirtour.blogspot.com

Sara said...

Okay, anonymous one. It was a big hint - but ever the one to be cautious, let me proceed by asking you a few questions.
1)Were you ever a chemistry deity?
2)What is your past relationship with junebugs?
3)True or false - You and I talked through an entire train ride in Alaska

Fair enough - I assume you are currently on tour which accounts for the lapses between your posts. Keep on though. I'm intrigued. And if you are indeed Rev. Oglethorpe, than I am pleasantly surprised to hear from you.

CSP said...

Can we really in good conscience continue refering to him as "Anonymous"? I mean, the last post had his name on it, for god's sake. It's right there: "Jim". I think the cat's out of the bag.

Sara said...

Caleb - You are no Sherlock Holmes, but we love you anyway.

Jim is a codename. My suspicion is that it's an old friend of mine from FBA.

Besides, as long as me and anonymous are having fun...

Jason Hunt said...

Smoke on the Mountain, Fire in my Heart! Sara, you always were a smart one. S-M-R-T!

Have you had your fill of oxygen lately?

Thanks for playing, Caleb...You are always welcome to call my Jim.

Sara said...

Jay - so good to hear from you. Send me an e-mail - I don't have a phone number or anything for you and I like to talk with you.
Sara

Jason Hunt said...

Hey, Sara! I no longer have an E-mail address for you :-( But, if you send your address to iron__jay@yahoo.com, I would be ever so greatful!